Addendum: 5 Things People Shouldn't Marry (But Did Anyway)

Your grandchildren.

The horror.

How to ruin an amazing performance

I'm huge fan of Sting and The Police, and I'm also a huge fan of John Mayer. Few musicians have shaped and influenced me as much as they did, so I was psyched to see that they actually had a small performance together.

July 7th, 2007: All over the world Live Earth takes place, a gigantic event where festivals located in a dozen cities are held, with an insane amount of famous performers and an enormous audience. This costly and absolutely eco-unfriendly attempt to raise awareness of global warming was as counterproductive as one might imagine, but it did house some interesting musical acts.

Just the fact that The Police were together on stage - having just started a reunion tour that year - after more than 20 years was a freaking milestone for me. But when I saw who played the famous opening riff of Message In A Bottle, I squeaked with joy: John Mayer was with them on stage, playing along the main riff. I watched in awe and thought to myself that nothing could top this performance of the song.

And then came the 2:15 minute mark.



Urgh. UURRGH.

What the HELL is fuckin Kanye West doing on the same stage that The Police is standing on? Well I can tell you what he does:

He tries to improvise some juicy rap antics (I'm sendin' a message in a BAAWWWTLE, they said that we need a nu TOMAAARRROW ).
He whirls his hands around a lot.
He throws in lots of YEA YEAs and UHN UHNs.
And, probably worst of all, he actually tries to rap along to Sting's singing, backing vocals style, absolutely ruining the melody and key of the song.
All the while he's just grinning so smugly and pleased with himself, like he's saying, Man, I was so good. THANK GOD I offered myself to help those guys out last minute, they would've never gotten any attention without me!

Seriously, seeing him onstage with those guys is like smearing a dog turd onto an absolutely perfect apple pie and vanilla sauce.

Now don't think of this as a fanboy rant over The Police and John Mayer. I'm just saying that Kanye West is a turd.

Hey Kid, wanna play?

I'm currently working for an organization that drives around with a big car full of toys and bikes and stuff to play with on playgrounds. Because we are mostly working at playgrounds it's obvious that I have seen a few. They mostly look like this:

Pictures (c) Saber, 2009

Peaceful. Fun. Full of Life and Laughter. Well, except for the last one, it kinda was a slow day.

Anyway, take a look at those playgrounds from all over Eastern Europe (mostly):



...oh my God. I don't think I will be able to sleep tonight.

First of all: Who puts a Lovecraftian creature on a playground? Or giant evil snakes and monsters? Whose crotch children can crawl out of? Or what about that damned abominations that are somehow meant to resemble humans, but due to a bad (or old) paint job they seem like lost souls straight back from hell. And what are those black creatures with bright white eyes from 1:20 on that seem to stare right into your soul?
A giant doctor that is about to stab you. A sad kraken doomed to entertain kids for eternity. Elefants whose ass is used as a slide. A wizard emerging from the ground. Gigantic insects crawling towards you. The lady in the blue dress.

With blood pouring from her eyes.

Excuse me, I have to find a corner I can rock back and forth in while I silently weep.

6 Things People Shouldn't Marry (But Did Anyway)

Love often goes strange ways, even more so if it goes against any known conventions. See, there's your typical marriage: Man meets girl, they fall in love, they marry, and everybody's happy (hopefully). Sometimes, a man meets a man, or a woman meets a woman, and they too want to feel the bonding that supposedly only marriage can give two lovers. Now, things look grim for those people, because this already goes against what people might call 'God's will' or 'standard behaviour', but people, I say, let them be, for there are much, much more weird marriages going on in the world. Here are only a few.

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