It's all in the name, folks

There are studies that people react differently on various kinds of names - let's say that Major Awesome, for example, strucks people with awe, while Major Poopoohead on the other hand might get you a good pounding. Nothing new, right?
Well apperently, names are destined to become part of the people's slang, especially in the English language. (My original internet nickname, Saber, often results in (German) people repeating it jokingly as the German word Sabber, which means drool in English. No comparison to the English slang.)
Tiny recently looked up her own names on UrbanDictionary.com, revealing some interesting definitions that are partly really flattering. So I decided to follow her idea and do the same. (More after the jump.)
Turns out, Saber surprisingly doesn't get too many results - imagine the possibilities with that term! Thousands of double entendres and dickjokes are waiting to be spoken! - although I really have to rethink my choice of that name.

1. saber

Woman in her very early 30s who are on the prowl. A cougar pup if you will.

Im going saber hunting tonight. Whos in?

Not the worst definition; it could basically mean I'm really into young cougars. If people thought that of me, so be it! Nothing bad can come out of that, right?

2. saber

a man whore or a man who sleeps around excessively with either man or woman.

Jackie-"Oh man, he looks hot!"
Blayne-"Nah, I heard he was totally a saber."

Urgh. Alright, I'd certainly have problems if people thought that of me. Everyone knows I only sleep around excessively with men AND women at the same time!

I proceeded to check out my first name - and boy, was I overwhelmed.

1. Sebastian

a blowjob underneath a table

Sarah gave me a sebastian while we were having dinner with her parents.

Wow, cool! I can live with that.

3. Sebastian

The kindest and coolest person you will ever know. Known to be loved by all. known for strength and courage.
The real definition of Sebastian is
"venerable" (a translation of Latin Augustus, the title of the Roman emperors)
"to worship, revere"
A GOD!!

"He is such a Sebastian"
"typical nice Sebastian"

 Yes. Yes indeed. That's totally me.

5. Sebastian

a real down to earth person, with a good personality. he is easy going and extreamly likable. AKA GOD, know for his awsomness, extreamly strong and fast, extreamly hates racists and mean people

WHoaaa that sebastian guy is soo kool, i want too be his friend

Again, yes. I'm VERY down to earth. And VERY God-like.
Also note its mention of 'awsomness'. People don't call me Majur Awsom for nothing, you know.

6. Sebastian

 The most coolest and raddest fucking dude alive. hates ugly fat sluts regardless of race or color.

"Where can I find sebastian?" "In the Guiness Book of World fucking Records; under the raddest fucking dude alive."

I looked it up. It's true.
(Although I'm not sure I'm THAT hateful against fat people. Fat sluts maybe, but not fat people in general.)

7. Sebastian

Someone who is amazing, thoughtful, sweet, smart and cheesy. Perfect in every way, oh and has the coolest girlfriend in the world!

Look, it's Sebastian, the cheese monster!

Now this one's a little specific, but still true in every way, especially concerning my significant other. But I'm not quite sure about me being cheesy and a 'cheese monster'. Does it mean I like cheese? Cos I'm all about the cheese, baby.

You might have noticed that I've left two definitions out. One was a drink (consisting of ice, hypnosis, Sprite and pineapple juice, so it totally delivers my style), and the other one was probably the most mindblowingly awesome definition of myself. Behold:

2. Sebastian

A person that is the biggest and baddest ninja you will ever meet in your entire life.

No example, because anyone who could possibly make one is killed by the Sebastian ninja.

... that. Is amazing.

You know, I never grew accustomed to my first name (let alone like it), but those definitions really make me love it.

So what's your favourite definition of your name on UrbanDictionary.com? Or what's your favourite definition of ANY name, for that matter?