Trailer magic

I like movies, of course, who doesn't. Nevertheless I've never been a great fan of b-movies, trash films or anything like that - they're funny for a few minutes, but sooner or later I find myself wishing for something of higher production value; something where you CAN'T see the strings on the hero's back.

But I found that movie trailers, as little as I like them for high production films, can provide lots of fun without having to sit through a whole low budget film. You get to experience the best scenes from the movie - granted, you don't get to choose what's regarded the best, but really, I don't mind in this case - and you even get to listen to some campy, over the top narrator, explaining to you why this particular movie IS THE SHIT.
Honestly, take a look at this one and tell me it's not awesome, I dare you:
...






Granted, this movie is not only full of b-production - it's also old, so special effects weren't much of a feat back then.
So what do we get?
- A gripping and terrifying story about green slime aliens (who seem to be brown-blackish for some reason) that take over a space station in the 21st century - as we learn, in the 'remains of a diseased universe'
- A rocket built of toilet paper rolls, a space station with what seems to be a rubber glove on its top and a futuristic city 'of the future' that could've been stolen from some kid's railroad model
- Wobbly one-eyed laundry sack aliens that make the most obnoxious sound you have ever heard in a movie
- ...and of course a rockin' psychadelic theme song. Hell yeah!

 Hell, even the poster was sweet. Fishbowls rock!

And don't forget an Italian redhead actress who actually sounds German ('Get evrybuhdee out! Donnt ask anee kvestshuns!'), charmingly lousy laser effects, a universe that doesn't actually slow you down when you move in it, and pretty stylish space suits with tinted up-flippable plastic shields.
See, I've noticed all these awesome or hilarious things without even watching the whole crappy movie. And it WAS a crappy movie: according to some reliable sources (ifyouknowwhatImean), there is an award named after the movie, annually honoring the worst (!) sci-fi movie of the past year. Now that's something to be proud of.
By the way: Richard Jaeckel, one of the actors of the movie, actually co-starred next John Wayne and William freakin Shatner. The Italian Redhead played the villainess in the forth Bond Thunderball. Actually, The Green Slime doesn't even show up in that guys' career sections on Wikipedia. That's weak.

Another great trailer I watched recently was for this blockbuster (or 'cockbuster', considering some of the trailer's content):



The story of poor poor Melvin, getting taunted and made fun of and insulted by... people. Dude even gets cockteased by some blonde horseface! Keep it up bro, in a few years, when you're a grownup you'll get past all of this! Be strong! ...or just wear women's ballet clothing, jump out of a window and land in toxic jello waste, whatever.
He proceeds to turn into the muscular and butt-ugly abomination of a super hero called The Toxic Avenger (and if you didn't get his name the first time the trailer-narrator mentions it, don't worry - he proceeds to name him a few more dozen times) with a face 'so terrifying we can't show it to you now', a cruel but imaginative sense of how to get rid of bad guys dressed in womens' clothing and other wrong-doers - and obviously a solid romance with a blind chick including sweet nuclear lovemaking.

 

I actually googled for the 'toxic sex avenger'. Now THAT'S a hero I wanna see.

Upon further research I found out that the genii behind this masterpiece were the guys of Troma, an American independent film production company founded in 1974. They were/are masters in the art of low-budget movies, often showcasing a huge amount of graphical violence. It seems they don't really seem to take themselves and the business to serious - but with such a great amount of certainty and devotion to their genre that it's almost charming. One of the founders of Troma, Lloyd Kaufman is chairman of the IFTA, the Independet Film & Television Alliance - click here to see him talk about media consolidation, in a simple and very...physical way (also, it's hilarious).

I found two more interesting trailers (or to be honest, I watched two and then couldn't take it anymore) that seem to showcase Tromas way of filmmaking: pick something completely random, quadruple the amount of violence (or awkwardness) in regular movies and bam, you made a Troma.

Poultrygeist  ( 'I know it's fattening, but I love the skin!' )

and Hermaphrodites ( with Lemmy from Motörhead! )

So what's the cheesiest, worst, low-budgetiest or stupidest movie (trailer) you've ever seen?